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If Symptoms Still Persist Theodore Dalrymple

If Symptoms Still Persist

Theodore Dalrymple

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Kindle Edition
128 pages
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 About the Book 

Theodore Dalrymple practises in a very remote corner - somewhat lacking in sophisticated medical facilities (other than myself, of course).One day a man came to consult me.He was extremely large – what failed dieters call big-boned – and veryMoreTheodore Dalrymple practises in a very remote corner - somewhat lacking in sophisticated medical facilities (other than myself, of course).One day a man came to consult me.He was extremely large – what failed dieters call big-boned – and very fat. He lost no time in telling me he was diabetic.‘Do you smoke?’ I asked.‘Like a chimney,’ he replied.He was completely unrepentant, so refreshingly different from all those snivelling wheedlers with hangdog expressions who give you a long story about how they nearly gave up but then their budgerigar died. I got the picture at once.‘And of course, you drink like a fish,’ I said.‘Like a fish,’ he replied.‘Dieting is out of the question?’ I continued, with mounting admiration.‘Completely, I love butter and cream, and meat with fat on it, and rich sauces.’‘Well,’ I said, ‘I’m sure you know the risks better than I, so I’m not going to lecture you. But if you invite me to dinner, I shall come.’That was twelve years ago. His wife was, and is, a magnificent cook.I wish I could say the story had a happy ending, but honesty compels me to relate that recently he had two heart attacks which have laid him low. He can hardly breathe, and now he needs cardiac surgery.Axe-wielding maniacs, arthuritis sufferers and apple crumble-cooking rapists... theyre all here, along with pullulating graphomaniacs, avaricious lawyers, empire-building bureaucrats and the poor, huddled masses of the slum near Dalrymples hospital in inner-city Britain.This is the earliest - and funniest - collection of his celebrated If Symptoms Persist pieces for The Spectator.Also includes essays from the follow up book If Symptoms StillPersist.Praise for If Symptoms Persist:Compulsively Funny. The Sunday TelegraphOne of the definitive tracts for our time. The Daily TelegraphDalrymples is the crystal voice of reason. What a refreshing voice this is! Literary Review